the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
