honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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