What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
