ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
