Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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