Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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