She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
