And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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