i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
