Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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