A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
