no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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