you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
