I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
