sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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