We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
