New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
