Just fell off a train. Bad.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
