I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
