I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
