Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
