id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
