Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
