I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
