hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
