I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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