I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
