There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
