I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I smell like Dick and happiness
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