Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
my being single is dangerous.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Actions speak louder than pants.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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