so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
