i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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