what day is it and did you see me today?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm both gender and math confused
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
