I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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