Midget sex pt 2 tonight
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
