You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
