Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
