I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
