girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
