While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
