dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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