chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
