i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
