last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
