I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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