Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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