I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
