take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
