Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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