doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
